Your Intimacy Toys

Risky Roundabouts From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (196 days old)

I realise it's been a very long time since any sort of update has been put in this record of my day-to-day life. I'm not upset, it's just that I've been busy. Some things that have happened in the … more

Bonjela From iandulley ^Pro in Bonjela Is My Friend (348 days old)

Have you seen this new Bonjela product doing the rounds? It's got some stupid name like "Bonjela Once" or "Bonjela Unlimited". It's essentially a cotton bud with liquid Bono in the tube. When you snap… more

They didn't know how to use a bloody ticket machine From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (350 days old)

I'm just going to go over some of the events of the weekend. Join me, if you will, for a recap. Friday: After work I walked to the train station in Reigate and got the train into Redhill. When I… more

Never play a wookie at chess, he'll rip your arms off From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (353 days old)

Roadworks down my road at the moment. During "peak" hours they are operating a system of traffic lights. Oh, what a lark! Therefore, my time of departure for work each day has had to be amended to ens… more

Yellow Fever From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (360 days old)

It's Children In Need day today. In our office there are balloons, posters, and people wearing yellow items of clothing. Sure, some people have yellow socks, some have yellow shoes; but I have a yello… more

España In The Works From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (423 days old)

Oh, it's you, is it? I didn't see you there. Come in, come in, you're standing in the shadow of the doorway. Come in and sit by the fire. Come in and give me your pretty little face. Oooh, you've been… more

Energy Crisis From iandulley ^Pro in Gang Of Clowns vs. Mad Stamper (439 days old)

Here's one for you to suckle on in these harsh times of credit crunch. Mmmmmm, credit crunch. Sounds like a cereal. Here I present "Energy Crisis In Your Back Yard", it's an 84bpm masterstroke: … more

Crazing For A Hazing From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (446 days old)

We have a new member in our team at work. I am considering indulging in some friendly hazing shenanigans with this newbie. We're not going to wrap him in a duvet and hit him about the face and neck wi… more

Moving On Up From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (455 days old)

M People. Rubbish. All their songs sounded the same; like The Lighthouse Family. But that's not why we're here, no no no. This is what I'm on about today: Desk Move Over the weekend, some people… more

Viva From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (456 days old)

So after a harsh introduction to my roomie for the next 4 days, I was understandably keen to get as far away from him as was possible. Unfortunate then that we had to share a room. He snored like you … more

Naked In The Meadows From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (457 days old)

I do apologise for the two months, avec change, since the last written summary of my doings. I have been busy in this time, here is some of one of the many things that I done. At the beginning of J… more

Dial M For Milton Bradley From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (530 days old)

Instead of documenting Hitler's demise, wouldn't it have been better to make a film about the greatest board game ever made? It is my understanding that "Downfall" is a very good film as it … more

Peanut Butter From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (539 days old)

So my folks got back from Florida yesterday morning. They have returned following a two week absence, during which time myself and my younger sister have had the run of the house. Oh, it's been a glor… more

The Pee Cycle From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (544 days old)

During my time spent working in an office, I have experienced a number of strange "Office Phenomena". Office phenomena are unexplainable happenings within the office environ. There may be a variety of… more

Things That I Have Done In GTA IV From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (558 days old)

Here is a list of some of the things that I have done whilst playing "Grand Theft Auto IV". Some things were done in single player mode, whilst others were performed during "Free Mode" in online multi… more

It's Too Early For This From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (578 days old)

Against my better judgement, I have ventured into work today. The turning point for me was when I went downstairs at 8am, only to be greeted by my Sister. "Are you not going into work today?" she … more

German Tennis Professionals From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (578 days old)

Monday: This Will Destroy You On Monday evening I took a trip down to Brighton to see "This Will Destroy You" play at The Engine Room. I had two tickets, for I had originally planned to go with Chr… more

Brassed Off Surreptitious Snakes From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (589 days old)

If you head on over to Songs We Made (http://songswemade.blog.co.uk) then you'll find two new songs that I have been working on today. The first one is called "Brassed Off", and it's an o… more

Surreptitious Snakes From iandulley ^Pro in Gang Of Clowns vs. Mad Stamper (589 days old)

Now that's what I call a remix. This is a song formerly known as "Snakes" which was by Steven Paul Allen's Mad Stamper emporium. If you listen to it then you'll probably feel better. I had a tummy… more

Brassed Off From iandulley ^Pro in Gang Of Clowns vs. Mad Stamper (589 days old)

Just finished cobbling together this mess of samples and original breaks. I call it "Brassed Off" due to the high percentage of brass instruments prevalent on this track. What I'm saying is just wo… more

Event 2 - Squash From iandulley ^Pro in The Iron Man Competition (601 days old)

The date? Tuesday 4th March 2008. The time? 6pm. The place? Donyngs Leisure Centre, Redhill. The event? Squash. The contestants? Ash, Bruno, Chris, Ian, Jay, Marc C, Marc H. Here are … more

Jonathan Inwood's Formal Resignation From iandulley ^Pro in The Iron Man Competition (611 days old)

It is with great sadness and huge regret that I inform you all of Jonathan "Jonny" Inwood's departure from the Iron Man competition.Jonny was a fun-loving person who cared very much for the … more

Via The Power Of Greyskull From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (622 days old)

Lunch was a bit of a misnomer today. We set off at 12:30pm with the express interest of going to The Beehive, which is a pub just down the road from the workplace. So we gathered our coats and Bruno F… more

Easy Money, I'm The Big Winner From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (623 days old)

Had a bit of a windfall at work earlier. Why? Here's why. Last week one of my colleagues in another department decided to have a "friendly bet" between a handful of people regarding the UEFA Champi… more

Lunchtime Appointment With Steven Paul Allen From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (629 days old)

At lunchtime we made a little trip, Steve and I, to purchase some speaker cable for his stereo system. First of all we went to his house, checked out the situation there. Once we were happy that we… more

All Systems Gone From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (629 days old)

They've only bloody gone and norsed it up, haven't they? Came in early yesterday morning expecting to crack on with my work and knock out a good solid performance during my overtime session, but I was… more

Submitted For Your Consideration From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (635 days old)

Here are a few things to update you on. Step in time, sunshine.The Iron MenI've created a new blog to deal with The Iron Man competition. Please see it. It should clear up any concerns that you may be… more

Event 1 - Bar Billiards From iandulley ^Pro in The Iron Man Competition (636 days old)

Right, I sprained my wrist playing squash last night and it hurts to type, so I'll make this quick.The date? Thursday 7th February 2008. The time? Just after 6pm. The place? The Flying Scud, Earlswood… more

Prologue - Meet The Contestants From iandulley ^Pro in The Iron Man Competition (640 days old)

Welcome to the online document of the first "Iron Man" competition. Here you will find all the information you need in order to stay up to date with the latest news and results of the Iron M… more

A Special Treat From iandulley ^Pro in The Life of (br)Ian (648 days old)

I came across these photos earlier. They were taken from my work colleague's phone. The pictures tell the story of a couple of weekends ago when Steven Paul Allen invited himself round to the house of… more